Forgiving others and yourself is important for personal growth and happiness. When someone hurts you, the “event” is done and history, but many times we hold on to those feelings every day like it’s heavy baggage. This baggage, that is full of heavy emotions like anger, resentment and sadness, will weigh you down and prevent you from living your best life. Free yourself from this baggage. When you do, you’ll feel a tremendous relief, and be able to accept all the great things the Universe is trying to give to you. If you need help letting go, here are some things you can do to forgive someone for hurting you.
Forgiving Someone Who Hurt You – 5 Steps
1 – Acknowledgement
The first thing you must do to forgive someone for hurting you is to acknowledge that you must forgive them. This is often difficult because we are so angry at the person that we don’t even consider that maybe we need to let things go. Once you do this, then you must acknowledge the specific behavior that hurt you. What happened? How does it make you feel? Write these things out.
2 – Feel It. Don’t Ignore It.
Let yourself feel the emotions that are holding you back. Don’t try to bury them. Emotions have to be brought to the surface and experienced fully before you can let them go. You’ll never be able to forgive someone for hurting you, if you ignore the pain. Yes this can be painful but it’s necessary. Get everything out in the open. Here are some ways to do that.
- Speak to the person directly. If you can, go right to the source and explain the feelings you are having.
- Talk to an empty chair. Airing your feelings to an imaginary person actually helps to get your feelings out.
- See a therapist. Therapists are great to get out the feelings you’ve been holding on to.
3 – Accept That It Cannot Be Changed
Accept that you’ve been hurt, and accept that it cannot be changed. No matter what you do, you can never turn back time and reverse it. Accept it as a part of who you are and the person that you have become up to this point. But it cannot continue to affect you from this point on, if you refuse to let it. Remember, you don’t have to accept the person, and you don’t have to let that person back into your life to accept what happened.
4 – Be Willing To Forgive
Once you have allowed yourself to feel your emotions on the surface and accept that you cannot change the past, it will be easier to forgive someone for hurting you. You’ll realize that the hurt and pain that you walk around with every day is a waste of time and energy. At this point, be willing to forgive and let it go.
5 – Let Go And Release
Finally it’s time to let go. Once you have made it through the previous 4 steps it’s time to forgive. Release all the negative baggage that you’ve been holding on to. Imagine that your heavy baggage is suddenly lighter than air and is flying up and away from your life, never to be seen again. “FEEL” this release. Imagine it as a physical feeling. If you find that old feelings start coming back, imagine this scenario again. Let it fly away from you each time.
Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else. You do it for yourself. It’s a way to show yourself that you love yourself and are ready to move on to bigger and better things. Use these 5 steps to forgive someone for hurting you, and live free from heartache and pain.